“Visions”

“A Man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed to him.”

-Tom Cruise, The Last Samurai.

The future is uncertain to the people of JO8A (it’s either that, or I’m too thick to figure the future out.) Sometimes, some fictional clairvoyants would even say that the future keeps changing. I strongly take that as a fact but I still have weird dreams about certain people. Every night, I dream of these people and their fates that give me a very disturbing feeling. It could be true but then again, I could be wrong, after all I’m only human. One thing’s for sure: the majority of this class will indeed have a terrific sense of satisfaction from the milestone of their achievements: the graduation, our graduation.

Still, I have these dreams about my friends and my classmates every now and then. Sometimes I look at an unfamiliar person, an individual I have never met my entire life and yet I see one of my friends becoming that person. I know it sounds disturbing but in a strange way, it seems like . . . fun.

The people of JO8A and the fates I have envisioned towards them (warning: it could be blissful or horrendous so if you don’t like it, don’t take it too seriously.)

o Gilbert Monge – in 5 years time, will become a successful manager of a call center agency here in Manila.

 o Camille Makayan – will not have any interest in pursuing her journalistic career, instead, a strange feeling will force her to do something that is outrageous, stupid and memorable. Whatever it is, it will make her lover fall even deeper for her. Her graduation however is still a blur due to factors like motivation, money and certain family issues.

o Precious Francisco – is going to have a lot of fun being a mother to Francine and her next child will be a boy. Ian will become a house husband, money will not be promising for her husband. Precious will be more fortunate with the money and her wealth after 31 years of working could be considered “spectacular.”

o Claude Bonares – will eventually gain lean mass over time and after 3 years, the people of JO8A will no longer see a frail Jean Claude. He will not enjoy his life as a womaniser and will settle down with someone he never expected to be with for the rest of his life. Careers and finance will be the greatest of his problems.

o Em Timajo – is still gay after a few years, nothing much has changed, except the huge muscular bouncer that he will come to know as his boyfriend.

o Emjhey Lacson – will be in a distant place, somewhere in Canada or Italy. However, there is an alternate version of the story: she stays here in the Philippines and decides to get married. (Who? Take a good guess.)

o Girlie Daliva – will be a successful Lifestyle writer at Cosmopolitan Magazine Philippines. But after 2 years of work, she will meet a Male European, the one she will marry and have 2 daughters and 1 son. She will end up living somewhere in the coasts of Greece or France.

o Grace Palpalatoc – will be impregnated to someone who has been percieved as her “friend” for one straight year. Socially speaking, she will not be as wealthy as she expects. She will become wealthier beyond expectations. But be wary, her marriage could be in danger because of her husband’s affiliates.

o Heidy Landrito – will be having difficulty adjusting to her new home. . . . . .in Boston. No relationships at the time, but finances are exuberant.

o Jessica “Jeka” dela Rosa – will have a lot of men to choose from because of her sociability and enthusiasm in relationships. Her financial stability is in danger as someone in her family will develop a habit of gambling.

o JM Javier – will become a totally different person after 5 years, he will not have any intention of getting married. Although there is a girl that has a certain resemblance to what he is today and could be considered a potentially long love affair. There will also be a strong connection with men in his future life.

o Joevie Guerrero – will face her ultimate test of judgment: become a servant of God, or take her chances with the opposite sex and experience an out-of this world experience. She will not be a Journalist, instead, she will make a lot of money in call center jobs and selling “poultry” to her neighbors.

o Christine Perez – will become addicted to reading. Her fate places her in a game show wherein she will be given a chance to permanently stabilize her finances. Marriage is troubling her, and in the midst of her despair and isolation, a man will come to her. This man will change her life . . . . . forever.

o Luisa H. del Pilar – will be married to her fiance and have 2 children. One among her children will go to college and finish studying, the other holds a very troubling fate.

o Miguel Velasco – will find love a few more times over, but an old flame will come back to fix everything that hasa ruined almost everything in his life. He will not be in the Philippines after 6 years, he will consider multiple careers and be successful only in a few.

o Neil Javier – will have fun with the same sex until the special one comes. He will face a terrible indentity crisis that can tear him apart. His past must be confronted in order for him to face his future. Jobs will have a different meaning for Neil. (Don’t worry, it’s not the type of job that most of you might think.)

o Nicko Wangag – is still a successful Media practitioner after 2 years. He will come across an old friend that he has not seen in a very long time. Tears of joy, nostalgia, fear of being alone, depressions caused by certain factors will trigger Nico into doing the unthinkable. He will become a husband, and a father. He will leave his successful Journalism career and live a peacful life somewhere in Dubai, New York or Saudi Arabia.

o Cathlene“Fitz” Teretit – will try to succeed as a call center agent but will become attached to the profession due to a few contributing factors. (love, friendships, money, and the free coffee boxes she gets every month.) She will be given the opportunity to leave this country for a chance to pursue an advertising career in Chicago. She will be married more than once.

o Prof. Alex Maaliw – will retire from being a U.E. professor after 11 more years of teaching. He will come back and forth in France, and in a very unexpected circumstance, he will encounter someone he never expected to see again  . He will have numerous opportunies of living in Rome. It seems like his social security and the monthly interests from his bank accounts will work wonders for him in the not so distant future.

o My Fate- is to be a hardworking individual, not a manager. After a year and 4 months, I will be given the opportunity of a lifetime, but I might be forced to turn down my dreams and leave it all behind. This will become a sacrifice caused by a woman who has been with me thru thick and thin. Upon making this sacrifice, our lives will be changed forever. We will have 2 children, the elder will be a boy who is not rich but happy in all aspects of his life, while the girl will become an accomplished businesswoman who has been widowed by her husband.

These fates echo in my head, but for the people who have read this, this is not some sick joke or some party favour that kids can enjoy. Please do not think ill of these visions. This is what my subconscious self is telling me, the future that everybody could be in. Look back at the quotation found in the beginning of this article and see if you can prove these visions wrong.

Will you be able to find it in yourself to consider these visions as mere hallucinations of an average, reasonable person’s mind?

If you cannot handle the prophecies that show your fate, then let God carry you into the future and let your faith save you from ruination. Godspeed JO8A, believe me when I say that you will be missed.

A New Battle for the Young Warrior.

 

Graduation. . .the thought of it makes the graduates feel like giving out a tremendous sigh of relief  for coming this far, but when you think of every possibility, there is also a feeling that makes me feel so uneasy. I think that this moment of glory will be short-lived in my part.

 With the thought of graduating in College, my journey as a student will come to its end. Still, there lies new threats,  new paths to undergo in life, and  new “adversities”  to face. Studying is over for me, but as the wise men say, “life is an endless learning process.” And I know it in myself that I still have a long way to go.

 As a new chapter unfolds in my life, I will face greater challenges and more difficult obstacles. But the most difficult ones lie within me.

These are the things that challenge me, and give me my purpose in life upon graduation:

*Responsiblity- I’m able to stand on my own two feet now. Everything will change as part of the normal transitions in becoming a competitive, and self sufficient person.  I’ve never been very good at my subjects because my psychiatrist tells me that “I’m afraid of responsiblity.”  I’ll know its true when I go to work for a living. But as part of being responsible and independent, I would like to make and spend my own money as much as possible. If my elders still choose to stay generous, I would take my allowances from my elders and put them in the bank .( If that doesn’t sound like a good idea, then I don’t know what the better idea would sound like.) After all, it’s hard to turn down the good Lord’s graces.

*Employment- my future is clouded in uncertainty. Tomorrow does not promise to be a good one, still, I must remain positive, and determined to make sure that life will turn for the better. My search for greener pastures will begin the moment I graduate (and I pray that it is on April.) I cannot let my weakening thoughts of negativity bring me down. Not this time.

*Separation of Ties- as I face the challenges of tomorrow, I will bid farewell to most of my colleagues here in the University. This is the time we start to make our own lives. I know I’ll  end up searching for new friends, but as for Gilbert, Emylyn, Claude,Emjhey, Joevie and Xian, I’ll make sure that the friendships stay strong. It’s not really goodbye if you’re willing to make ends meet.

*”The troubling new society”- I will meet new faces, see new places and face new challenges( like I’ve said before,) and I don’t know how things will turn out. I’ve never really been perfectly good with people but casting that aside, I’m not sure what I’m capable of.

*Nostalgia- With a myriad of possibilities, I tend to look back and see what I have gained and lost. Everytime I think of U.E. I will think of my friends, the people who came to know me, even the people who hate me (no profanities this time, this is too important for me.)  The people I have encountered here have played an indespensible part of helping me become the person I am today. Love and hatred, euphoria and disappointment, there are so many things that I will leave here. Still, the memory will never be too far from my thoughts. The problem here: I have a hard time keeping my heart from weeping.

*Boredom- let’s face it, after we go looking for a job, emplyment is not always instantaneous. So what do people do when given the great vacancy of time? I think I’ll go on a diet (it won’t be so easy, but it’s definitely going to be fun. I’ve been there, I know.) I’ll try to take my father’s words into consideration. Besides, it does make pretty good sense.

His saying goes: There are many things that you can do in life, all you have to do is get out of your bed and ”activate yourself.”

I will do my best when I get my first job. I know I can’t really please everybody so I’ll just do what I can. Dieting will help a lot in cutting my expenses, so I know it’s best if I do as I say. These things take time, patience will be my friend and time will be against me. These are just the work related elements of my life, I am yet to find out who,when and where I’ll meet my “Angel of Redemption.” (That’s another story, I’ve done terrible things but if I find her: “I could consider myself . . .saved!”(- Chris Jericho, WWE)  I only hope that I stay focused, determined and steadfast no matter who or what comes my way.

To take some time with Pike

Hey, you all know me. . Sleazy, obnoxious, and always tries to be funny that it can get stale sometimes.

But if you would find it in your heart to spend a little one on one time with me, you’ll find that I might not be the guy you really think I am.

If a girl would go out with me (sorry, I don’t date people with the same genitals as mine so pakyu!pakingsyet! maderpaker!) I’d be myself, no one would make fun of us or whatever. I’m not really a guy of words, that’s why I tell a lot of jokes, because I’m trying my best to keep the people around me from getting bored. My idea of a date: A day at MoA. . . if it sounds corny to you then fuck!!! Dammit! . . .(exhales to sedate self) We’d eat at simple places(Max’s or Sbarro) then go for dessert(coffee bean & tea leaf cakes, or Ice cream),probably watch a Movie after filling our bellies with stuff that eventually transforms into SHIT. . .

 I’d whisper into her ear as we feel the ocean breeze at the terrace of MoA. I’d tell her everything she is to me. I’d tell her that I’m grateful because she was brave enough to trust me and I would make her feel that her trust would not be given to me in vain. I easily fall in love with women who are brave yet caring, brave in a sense that they’re not too afraid for their own good. . . I’d tell her how afraid I am of getting hurt but since she’s with me, my fears turn into butterflies in my stomach (And for Pete’s sake I hope they are butterflies, if I feel moisture in my ass I’d get nervous!)

I’d give her a warm hug to protect her from the cold wind of the ocean as I try to make her smile as we both look at the horizon. This is the time to be the guy I’m totally different from class. .I’d play the dating game a little more seriously. I try to avoid dark humor and sex jokes as much as possible because I’d respect the girl I’m dating.(Unless she’s into it, I’m fine with being decent.)

I’ll make her feel that she’s appreciated, that because she was able to see beyond the perverted jerk that everyone else has come to know, I WILL CHANGE everything for the better for her and for myself.

I would like nothing more than to make her feel proud of me.

We’d enjoy the day, sitting next to each other, feeling all sweet knowing that it’s naturally a good thing. If possible, I’d stay with her until we arrive at the doorsteps of her home.

And before we end the day, I’d thank her once again and tell her how much my day has been “made” because she spent time with a two bit punk like me.

Hey, I’m a student, more than that I’m just an ordinary guy. .so don’t expect anything too fancy from me. .I only give everything to the special girl. All that is needed for all of this to begin: Tell me you’d spend a little time with me. Tell me you want to go crazy with me.

Before you know it, we could become inseperable

The Moment that made me really happy.

The year 2008 had given me so many experiences that it’s hard to recall all of them. (Not that I had a totally lousy memory or anything.) But one of them will most definitely be remembered: and it took place during my Christmas Party with JO8A at Quezon City Circle.

 

It started out as an ordinary sunny, perspiration inducing day for me. I took a bath pretty early because my groupmates and I were in charge of the beverages and drinking cups, etc. So there I was, waiting for my colleague at Mercury drug a few streets across the QC Circle. When my friend Nico finally made it to Mercury Drug (After a Candy bar and a bottle of green tea’s worth of eating time,) we went along immediately with the purchases required for today’s event.

 

To everyone’s delight, the Christmas party went along quite well. From finding a spot for the entire section to settle, to the games that gave almost everyone a good sweat, to the hearty consumption of food, we all had a smile in our hearts. (At least I hope I’m right on this one.)

 

There was this brief moment of happiness that really put a smile on my heart. (If it were my face, it would be an awkward sight.) It was a moment after I ate the last barbeque and hotdog that my teeth could help me chew before it gave me the headache that would last for hours.

 

It suddenly occurred to me that everybody was having a fun time. Everybody seemed to get along with one another and it felt good. . . . . .

 

It felt like family to me.

 

I’m currently not feeling like the sentimental type so I’ll keep going on with the moment in a jolly fashion.

 

I felt really happy because there were no arguments, we barely had any dead end discussions, and our bellies had their fill. It was good party because it was so plain, simple and yet, I keep coming back to that day everytime I try to remember the best moment I had for 2008.

 

A few warm hugs and hearty gestures added a whole lot more to the fun.

 

But still, the moment of contemplation in QC Circle was something that made me feel something special. It felt like God was telling me that although most of us barely had a chance to give love to one another everyday, there was still a moment of sincerity; a brief chance to share warmhearted kindness during that party.

 

I need not say more. . Happy New Year JO8A. And thanks for making that party a great success for me.

“Aww-some, not Awesome.”

During Christmas, it is normal for people to give gifts and receive gifts. I tend to give simple instead of fancy ones because I kind of had a bad experience way back.

I’ve never been very good at this and oftentimes, I get ungrateful remarks instead of a simple “thank you”.  One time, I gave my high school classmate a Christmas Card, and she said “ito lang regalo mo saken?!” I mean, what ever happened to the cliche  saying “it’s the thought that counts?”  It was downright disappointing. I skipped Lunch to buy that Card and what greeted me was a hurtful remark.

She wasn’t even a close friend to begin with.

I suppose that was the worst gift I ever gave to a person, I bought it from a bookstore and all my close friends said it would really make the person I picked from our Kris kringle very happy.Even though she already gave an apology, the memory will be remembered indefinitely. Since then, I never think of what gift I should give because I’m not usually thoughtful and giving. And by looking back at that foul up, I really didn’t want to care anymore.

 I’m not mad, it’s just that a complaint was the last thing I was expecting from that girl. She seemed so nice and appreciative, but then again, you really can’t judge a people by their cover.

The worst gift I ever got in my entire life was the “silent treatment.” It’s the one thing that really gets into my nerves. I can accept painful words or expressions of disappointment,it may hurt a lot at first,but at least two people get something off their chests. But the silent treatment is different. It just says a lot about how things should be settled. Silence makes me feel like I’m not worth the argument or maybe they don’t care about me at all.

 The most heartbreaking fact is that it was my Mom who gave me the silent treatment during the Jolly Season. I really don’t understand why she couldn’t even give a lousy text message.No gifts, No Cash, No phone Call, Nothing.I didn’t get jack shit for Christmas that year. Maybe she really has moved on with her life and her future didn’t include me. But it doesn’t matter I guess, I will move on with mine and it certainly won’t include her. I’ve put up with my Aunt’s patronization for my mother long engough. I can see the fact that we never really knew each other but, my mother couldn’t even give a little effort for me.

It’s not my fault my parents left me when I was 2. I can’t wait to graduate, because when that time comes, I’ll be out of their misery. Oh wait, they make me feel like a worthless piece of shit so I guess They’ll be out of my misery!

I hate ungrateful people who resort to complaining instead of giving thanks during Christmas.I don’t like people who abandon me without giving me a chance to feel what it’s like to be in the family. I’m not expecting anything this year because it just might add up to the disappointment. I’ll try my best to enjoy Jesus’ Birthday though.

Striking a conversation for reconcilliation is the last thing I ever do before totally giving someone the silent treatment. I don’t know, a heart with words seems to be a pretty good Christmas gift and it doesn’t have to be wrapped up in a box for it to put a smile in your face.

The Jolly season isn’t so Jolly when you think of people who give you turd for Christmas. So before you finish reading this, please think of the people who make you feel really jolly and try to forget what you’ve read or more specifically, try to forget about the people who have let you down. I hate looking back at the “worst” in my life.

“A Gaping Void of Hatred.”

As a jolly person, I find it surprisingly easy when picturing the people I hate being put into such compromising situations. Imagining them being run over by a speeding truck, or their asses being violated by a jackfruit can be so gratifying.

I always try my best to be nice, warm and friendly but like everyone else, there’s a line that my friends should never cross. And you can easily notice my hatred towards people, because I never hide my grudges if I have any. Sometimes I just don’t say anything if it would imply ill will. I always try to stay cool, but certain circumstances give me no other choice than to just spit out what I have to say or just walk away if I am in no position to argue. One thing is for certain, the ones I hate can literally burn in hell and I couldn’t care any less.

My hatred towards people linger incessantly, because I wait for an apology if the situation calls for one. Sometimes I just want to shut the door on the ones I hate with a deafening and heartstopping slam, because it just feels better.  Everyone is capable of hating, but for me, there is always room for reconcilliation. I just hate the feeling of being taken advantage of or having dirt kicked in my face. One part of my inner self calls for revenge while my other half tells me that the violent way of settling things is rarely the solution to any problem. Such a shame that my diplomatic side always gets the best of me, even when at times I really I know I obviously have to stick up for myself.

If i don’t exert that certain force of violence, hatred and bitterness just fills my heart and it doesn’t go away, and that scares me about myself. It makes me feel like I just want to stick a pencil at the person’s throat, gouge out his/her heart and stick it up his/her apathetic and self indulgent ass as I laugh my own heart out.

Fortunately for me, I haven’t had a throw down in a year. I always felt like I had to pull my punches and I was right in doing so. It takes courage to hurt people, but more courage is needed for turning the other cheek (the face cheek not the ass cheek.) It was more fun to sit back and take it because in the end, the ravages of karma punish them more than I ever could.

I enjoy the peace of a righteous person, I never hope for any unecessarry confrontation because if that happens, I always make sure I leave a scar that will always be remembrance of how foolish they were for crossing me.

The violent hobbies of mine: (I’m a totally good bopy now ) 

-Strangling

-Kicking a guy with full force

-Cursing at the person I personally do not like

-Dreaming that the people I hate were suffering ceaselessly (I leave my imagination up to that.)

-Going Judo on their asses

The people I usually don’t like:

-Cocky, bullheaded punks

-Assholes with no balls

-Bitches

-People who think they are too good or believe they are better than everyone else (they’re full of shit)

-People who stab you in the back(They take the whole shit pie, because shit comes out of their mouth)

-People who can’t take a joke or are too sensitive (Pussies)

-Hypocrites (Sick fucks in Angel’s clothing)

These people should be struck by lightning four times, because it says a lot for me.

Four strikes mean four words: “Repent your wrongdoings, scumbags!”

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